


Blessings - Two Asks snagged from Falstelo

by deawrites



Category: Gotham (TV), Southland
Genre: Adult Content, Age Difference, Explicit Language, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-03-03 06:10:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13335105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deawrites/pseuds/deawrites
Summary: At thirty-seven Captain Jim Gordon meets a fresh faced new uniform recruit Harvey Bullock.





	Blessings - Two Asks snagged from Falstelo

**Author's Note:**

> A mish-mosh of two ideas borrowed from Falsteloj asks: one was for Jim/Harvey age reversals, and the other was Harvey's mum is still alive and meets Jim and they bond. I hope I fulfilled both in a way that pleases those two askers/readers.
> 
> Thank you so much (again) Falsteloj for allowing me to snag a couple of plots from your list. I really needed them! <3<3
> 
> To my wife who no matter what age we are still loves me.

Grace Bullock had been blessed with many events and people in her lifetime. She had nine children and loved them all so much she couldn’t even imagine what her life would have been like without them. Yet one of her children touched her heart deeper than the others; brought a smile to her face just by the mere thought of him; and brightened her life instantly every time he walked through the door to her two-bedroom flat in The Narrows.  He was the third of his four sons and fifth in birth order. No matter what her children chose to do with their lives as a vocation Grace was proud of them; proud to be their mother, however with Harvey’s choice there was that extra bit of pride she could not deny.

 

“Look at you, my little Red Lion.” She cooed her special nick name for him as she rose from the kitchen chair and instantly began fusing with making certain his GCPD uniform creases were laying properly. “All dressed up and ready to save the city.”

 

“Ma,” Harvey blushed furiously even as he rolled his eyes at the giggle from his little sister Sibeal. “It’s not even my dress blues.”

 

“I know, I know.” She assured holding him at arm length to take him in fully once more. “You just look so sharp and,” Grace paused her eyes glistening with tell tale tears. “You do all the Bullock’s so proud.” She leaned forward and placed a kiss to his freshly shaved cheek. “My little Lion.” She whispered in his ear before kissing him once more and withdrawing.

 

“He looks like he came out of a box of soldier dolls.” Sibeal offered tugging the sweater of her own school uniform down over her white blouse.

 

“Yeah?” Harvey challenged with a gleam of a brotherly taunt in his green eyes. “What do you know about soldiers, you little, smelly, gutter weed?” Sibeal stuck her tongue at him and Harvey mirrored her gesture.

 

Smugly the young girl jutted out her chin and declared, “You win. You were uglier to begin with!”

 

“Enough the two of y’.” Grace stated with a shake of the head. “Sibeal, get your satchel and get Tana downstairs to leave for school. I don’t want you to be late.”

 

“Yes Ma.” Sibeal stuck her tongue out one final time at her brother and rushed out of the kitchen leaving the chair out from the table and her cereal bowl, the box, and milk on the table surface for Grace to pick up after her.

 

“She started it.” Harvey stated moving to the table and his sister’s mess.

 

“Don’t bother with that, Harvey. I’ll take care of it. I don’t want you to get the uniform soiled straight away.”

 

Harvey dismissed the generous offer by snatching the three items off the table and heading towards the sink. “Being a cop is a dirty job, Ma. You worry too much; it’s not good for you.”

 

“I’m fine.” Grace assured watching him put away the cereal and milk before washing up the bowl and spoon. He even wiped the counter up of splashed water and Grace beamed with pride. “You’ll make someone a fine husband, Lion.”

 

With his back to her Harvey sighed and pulled his bottom lip into his mouth for a few seconds before answering. “We’ve already been through this, Ma.” He turned around and leaned the small of his back against the counter. He rubbed his hands together and held his mother’s gaze. “I’m not getting married until I’ve made detective. The hours will be more stable, I’ll have a bigger pay check, and be ready for a family by then.” He shrugged. “Besides, it’s not like I have anyone lined up around the corner to apply for the position of being my bride.” _Or groom_. He didn’t say the last aloud, but he knew that Grace understood it’s implication.  The conversation stalled there as Sibeal and Tana thundered through the hallway and to the apartment front door, calling ‘Bye Mom! Harvey!” before rushing out into the tenement hall. Harvey called after them his farewell and order not to slam the door, which went unheeded. He shook his head in disbelief and placed his hands upon his hips saying, “I thought they had more manners then that.”

 

Grace sat down at the table in the chair Sibeal had vacated. She reached across the surface for her tea cup from before the place she had previously sat. She took a sip before addressing her son. “I swear you all are only on your best behavior when it’s important. Otherwise, you’re all my little rowdy heathens and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

 

“You’re a saint, Ma. A saint.”

 

Grace blushed and dismissed Harvey’s declaration with a wave of her hand. “Silver tongue; the shiniest of them all, you have.” She sighed contentedly and now that they were alone in the apartment she stated. “I worry about you, little Red.” She searched his expression. “In that apartment alone. Declan offered the spare room to you. You could be there with him and the kids; you’d would have family around you when you were in need.”

 

Harvey pushed way from the counter and moved to sit in the chair across from his mother. “That’s the beauty of living by yourself, Ma. You can always go home when life kicks you in the short and curlies.” He leaned forward and took her hands within his own. “I know you disapprove of the analogy, and my living alone, but Ma; I’m twenty-two years old. It’s time I flew the coup; be on my own. Like the grown ass man, I am.”

 

Grace rubbed her thumbs over the backs of his hands and gave them a gentle squeeze before withdrawing from his touch. “Having a boyfriend or girlfriend at home to take care of you would help ease my mind, Harvey.”

 

Harvey blushed and looked down shaking his head. Since they were alone now it was safe to talk in their profoundly secret way. “Please don’t Ma. I _don’t_ want to be fixed up,” He paused and held her gaze. “I _don’t_ want meet someone, I **want** to be on my own and concentrate on my job for now. That’s all.”

 

“I understand.”

 

“Yes, but do you _listen_?”

 

Grace frowned. “I should be saying that to you.” She admonished playfully. She took a sip of tea and studied her son’s expression. “I only want you happy and loved. Nothing more.”

 

“Thanks Ma.” Harvey gratified as he rose from the table and kissed her cheek. “I’ve got to get to work. I’ll stop by for dinner tomorrow, Yeah?”

 

“Yes. Please do. I’m making roast. Try not to be late. And pick up some extra potatoes on your way over. I’ll need them to replenish the cupboard.”

 

“I promise to do that.” Harvey assured before snagging his uniform jacket and hat of the pegs by the door before he opened it. “Love you, Ma.”

 

“I love you too.” Grace assured having moved to the kitchen archway to watch him leave. “Stay safe.”

 

Pulling on his jacket Harvey nodded. “ ‘ll do my best.” He vowed before exiting into the hallway. Grace stood where she was and clenched her hands into small fists. She prayed he wouldn’t get hurt.

 

Jim Gordon was thirty-seven years old and police Capitan of the robbery/homicide unit in headquarters of the GCPD.  His department was hemorrhaging manpower as he was down two detectives and three uniformed officers. One detective had retired, the other was on medical leave, and the uniforms had been murdered in the line of duty. One shot, two frozen to death by some new villain terrorizing Gotham. He needed bodies; breathing, uniformed bodies; and he didn’t care how he got them. He called a contact of his in the administrative division and nearly begged for bodies.

 

“I can send you one from the eighth and maybe,” There was a long pause and the shuffling of paper and clacking of computer keys on the opposite end of the conversation. “Okay, yeah. One from the seventy-seventh. He’s fresh out of the academy,”

 

“I’ll take them both.” Jim seized the opportunity before someone else either snagged up the transferable bodies or they were lost forever to the City. “Detectives?”

 

“Can’t help you there. Sorry, Gordon.”

 

“No, it’s fine. Thank you so much Hernandez. I appreciate it; I really do. Give my regards to Laura and the kids.” He didn’t mean the last, said it because it was the right thing to say, and the call severed a breath or two later. At the very least he had two uniforms.

 

While Harvey’s FTO (field training officer) wasn’t happy about losing Harvey just a few weeks into their ride together, there were fresh bodies from the academy to counsel and teach, so he bid Harvey a gruff farewell, complete with handshake and pat on the back.

 

“You’re going to headquarters?” Two other uniforms demanded in passing. “Shit Bullock, good fucking luck with that man! The Captain there is a hard ass, by the book, stick up the ass, bastard of a task master. It’s like being in the army over there not cops!” They laughed at Harvey and watched him return to the building to clean out his locker. No matter who the captain was or what was expected of him, Harvey was going to main headquarters of the GCPD in his rookie year. Not many cops could boast that.

 

Harvey called Grace before entering the headquarters building to let her know of his location change. She was excited and again told him to be careful and that he would do just fine. Harvey hoped so as he was introduced at the front desk to his new FTO; a by the numbers man himself named Cooper. The man was no nonsense, was an experienced cop, a sound teacher and strictly on the level. No bribes would pass his way, or to any officer under his tutelage. He told Harvey this straight away and warned him that if he was into that kind of thing that Capitan Gordon would come down on him like a ton of bricks.

 

Expression impassive, mouth scowling, hands on hips, Cooper informed Harvey, “He’s not as lenient as I am.”  Somehow Harvey didn’t doubt that, and wondered vaguely if Cooper saw the irony in his declaration. Maybe the rumors Harvey heard from the seventy-seventh were true. At least, Cooper seemed to think so. Harvey got the opportunity to meet the man himself, and his first impression was that he was fucked eight ways to Sunday no matter how well he did his job.

 

Grace was anxious. She made dinner for her youngest son along with his best friend, and her two daughters not giving away her fretting. At least if she did none of her other children mentioned it. She was worried about Harvey, anxious to hear about his day at the new precinct. She dreaded the thought that she would have to wait until the following night when he came by for dinner. The boys had gone out to get a drink at the corner bar, and the girls retired to the living room to watch television and do their home work when Grace was just about to begin the washing up. Hearing a key in the door she turned off the water and dried her hands on a dish towel. Hearing Harvey’s voice greeting the girls, she immediately brightened and pulled some left overs out of the refrigerator to reheat them for his supper.

 

“Hey Ma.” Harvey greeted setting a few bags of groceries on the kitchen table and leaning in to kiss her cheek. He had taken off his uniform jacket, hat, and tie, leaving them by the front door. He looked weary and defeated.

 

“Harvey! I thought you weren’t coming over until tomorrow? Let me get you something to eat.”

 

“Thanks Ma, that be great.” He began putting the groceries away in their place and she noted that there were far more than just some potatoes, but several of her usual foodstuffs as well.  He took care of her with his weekly visits and Grace loved him for it. Harvey took a beer for himself out of the fridge when he was done and sat down at the table. “What a fucking day.”

 

Grace frowned at his use of curse words but then again, all her children cursed up blue streaks when they were feeling rather expressive. She petted his hair gently with a hand, smoothing it down the back of his head as he took another sip of beer.  “Tell me all about it. The kettle’s on and your dinner’s warming. I have time.” The washing up could wait. Knowing Harvey as she did, when he was finished eating he would either help her with the dishes or do them all himself. He was just that kind of child and always had been.

 

Harvey frowned and drew his thumb over the logo on the can before looking at his mother. She moved around to sit in the chair adjacent him. “Here I thought that working at police headquarters was going to be a little glamorous. You know, in there with the big boys in their suits and where all the action is? See, everything funnels through there; over the Captain’s desk and I just thought,” Harvey fell silent and shrugged unable to find the words to explain. “I just thought it would be different than the seventy-seventh. So far, the only difference is that my new FTO is a stickler for the rules, which I can forgive because hey; I want to be a _great_ cop. It’s just the Captain; Jim Gordon. The guy in the newspapers all the time?”

 

Grace beamed and went to the microwave to remove the plate of food she had made for her son. Returning to the table with silverware and the plate she placed them before Harvey. He had taken a napkin out of the plastic holder to one side of the table and placed it across his lap. “I’ve seen him in the Chronicle and the Gazette. He’s very handsome.” She placed a hand upon Harvey’s wrist and watched his brows raise at her summation.

 

“The papers, Ma? They don’t do the man justice.” Harvey shook his head and felt his mother pat his wrist supportively. It just made him feel worse and he sighed plaintively.

 

“Was he arrogant and rude to you?” Grace guessed trying to draw Harvey out to talk more. Her tone was lowered so that the girls had no chance in heck of overhearing their conversation without Grace spotting them listening. “He looks a little smug whenever I’ve seen him on the news.”

 

Harvey bowed his head a little. “He’s an ass hat. Real stick up it but, that’s not the problem.”

 

“Then what is it?” Grace probed watching her son sigh once more. He placed his elbows on either side of his plate, rubbed his hands over his face, and groaned in disbelief before lowering his hands and looking at his mother.

 

“He shook my hand, and this; there was this, like; electric current or something; it just went up my arm, into my chest. It was like some damned cartoon or something.” Harvey paused and leaned forward a little to his mother conspiratorially. “His voice turned my bones to jelly and I think I even stopped breathing a couple of times. He’s gorgeous Ma. And by all accounts a great cop and I, I,” Harvey paused faltering for words.

 

“Are attracted to him?” Grace filled in with understanding. Grateful to her for voicing his words, Harvey nodded. “Oh, Honey, that’s nothing to be upset about. It’s perfectly natural to look at someone and wonder what they’re like when your chemistry is so sparked like that.”

 

“I know but, I don’t think it went both ways. I **really** think it didn’t with the look he gave me after.” Harvey shook his head and reached for his beer but didn’t raise it to his lips. “What am I gonna do? I have to work for the guy and every time he looks at me, or god forbid speaks, I go spastic like some school kid with a crush?”

 

Grace chuckled and patted Harvey’s hand with her opposite one. “It’s your first day. You’ve put so much pressure on yourself to make a good impression. You’ll see that tomorrow and every day after that, the feelings you had today were just blown out of proportion.” She squeezed his hand a little with her own. “Just do what you told me you wanted to do, concentrate on your job and everything else will happen when it’s supposed to happen. Crushes included.”

 

Harvey blushed up several shades of red and put his beer down untouched and reached for his utensils. “Thanks Ma. I knew you’d understand.”

 

“Of course, I do, dear. Although, Captain Gordon is _very_ handsome.” Harvey could tell by her tone that she thought he was far more attractive than Jim, but left that unacknowledged as he took his first bite of food, his appetite abruptly back.  Harvey laughed at this and began to eat.  Grace withdrew her hands and watched him for a few minutes. She moved to the cupboard and took out rusty Christmas cookie tin and opened it. Inside were cut out pictures of various Victorian houses, rooms inside and décor. Harvey smiled upon seeing them, he knew of his mother’s penchant for constructing her dream house out of the pictures she coveted within the tin. She had a practice of looking at them daily when the apartment was quiet, and she had a moment to herself. With Harvey here, she knew that if anything came up within the household that he would jump to handle it to grant her some peace.

 

“You make a room for me yet?” Harvey asked. He winked at his mom and she snickered softly.

 

“Was the very room I built after the kitchen.” She revealed in a stage whisper. Harvey colored up a little at the reveal, knowing that she was telling the truth and not teasing him. She always completed her kitchen’s first and then his bedroom. “I’m working on the parlor now. I want to have Sunday teas there with the ladies from church.”

 

“That sounds nice Ma.”

 

“You know,” Grace said after a few minutes. “I’ll be expecting daily check ins for a while now that you’re working for Captain Gordon.” Grace urged with a sly smirk. “Just until you’re settled in the new precinct and have your own beat, mind you.”

 

“Sure Ma. I promise. _Every_ day. Like clockwork, unless I’m dead from work.”

 

Grace looked horrified. “Don’t say such things, Harvey!”

 

Harvey apologized profusely. “I just meant _tired_ , not dead as in killed in the line of duty! I _swear_.”

 

Grace held a hand to her heart. “Give your poor mother a heart attack. Shame on you.”

 

Harvey leaned in and kissed her cheek. “Sorry.” He sat back in the chair and took a bite of food and chewed as he considered her request. “Do you think I’ll make a fool out of myself?”

 

“I don’t think that at all.” Grace assured him confidently. “You’re a professional. He won’t know a thing unless you tell him.” Harvey hoped she was right.

 

Jim frowned as he looked down over the bullpen. The two new uniforms, Bullock and Preston, were filling holes left in the roster, yet one of them was proving to be problematic. Bullock was fresh out of the academy and just shy of his solo sector assignment. He was being trained by the best FTO Jim had ever had the pleasure of being trained by, Sgt. John Cooper.  The moment Jim had grasped the Captaincy he began snagging as many former colleagues he respected to work at headquarters if they currently didn’t. John had been such a man. Yet being under Cooper’s tutelage or fresh out of the academy wasn’t a problem. The issue Gordon had with Harvey Bullock was that he genuinely _liked_ the man. Jim didn’t enjoy the company of many people, however Bullock seemed to be an exception.

 

The few times he had interacted with the rookie officer had been as brief as most of Jim’s interactions, however it had left him wanting more. Something about the younger male interested Jim. It wasn’t the fact that he saw so much of his own idealism within the rookie’s character and he wished to preserve those traits within him. The issue was that Jim could see himself having a beer with the kid; talking to him about things other than police work. For Jim that was a dangerous precipice. He was a consummate professional and a crap friend. Besides, being friends with his subordinates was something he staunchly avoided least they cry nepotism to the ranks above Jim’s head.  Bullock gazed at Jim with a combination of wonder and adoration, something he truly hoped wasn’t a surrogate father figure situation; that only served to intensify the dangers of prolonged contact with the kid.  Accuse Jim Gordon of many things but doting on favorites would never be one of them. Due to his interest in the man Jim went out of his way to avoid him altogether. Failing that, if he was forced to interact with Harvey he was gruff, sardonic, and exited the conversation nearly as quickly as it began. He pretended not to notice the surprised and hurt expression Harvey Bullock wore following such an interaction. He did his best not to notice **anything** about the man. Especially not how broad his shoulders were, or how red and thick his hair was; nor even that he had a handsome face and warm looking hands. Certainly, those things he severed at the very first inkling, pushed them deep into his psyche to be locked and chained in chests buried at sea with the rest of Jim’s undesirable feelings and emotions.

 

When he was injured on a case and had to stay in the hospital overnight due to a concussion, he was quite surprised to see that a steady stream of cops filtered through the door of the hospital room to visit him. Harvey was one of them and they were trapped for a few minutes in the same vicinity, and there was little Jim could do to avoid the man. In the end he shook Bullock’s hand and thanked him; all be it more sincerely than he had others. The blushing rookie exited the room, hat in hand, and casting Jim a final look at the room door. Jim worked from his hospital bed, running his departmental secretary, Harper; ragged with trips back and forth to the precinct; just so that he wouldn’t have missed anything having been away for twenty-four hours. The following day when he arrived back at work with a sore abdomen from being kicked repeatedly, and a couple of stitches in his forehead he was interrupted by Harper.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“There’s someone at the day desk asking to see you.”

 

Jim placed his hands upon his hips, standing behind his desk he looked quite the imposing figure. If that wasn’t enough to prove as such, his scowling features and glaring gaze was enough to drive the point home.  “Why?”

 

The assistant shook her head. “She brought you a thank you present.”

 

Jim frowned. “Tell her to leave it with the desk Sargent . I don’t have time for citizen outreach right now.” His secretary fidgeted with in her stance and Jim glared at her. His last statement had been meant as a dismissal. “What is it now, Harper?”

 

“It’s just that she’s one of the uniforms mother. And she’s _very_ **insistent** that she speak to you.”

 

Jim closed his eyes for a split second in attempt to remain calm while his phone was ringing off the hook, he was supposed to be upstairs in ten minutes for an upper brass meeting, and a uniform’s _mother_ was demanding to speak with him. “Fine.” Jim permitted opening his eyes and touching his brow with his right hand. “Tell her to wait there and I’ll get to her when I can.”

 

“Thank you, Sir.” Harper said before exiting the office and closing the door behind her. Jim snatched up the telephone handset and barked his last name to begin the next conversation. This one; thankfully; was an internal one. The meeting had been pushed back because the Deputy Commissioner and Commissioner both had a tee time at the Gotham country club golf course.

 

Twenty-minutes later Jim was juggling phone calls on both the office phone and his cell. He was shuffling papers, skimming and signing off on reports, and looking at a power point presentation he was supposed to give at the meeting to make certain it was completely accurate. He had a mug half full of cold coffee on his desk and a quarter eaten granola bar. His office door opened following a quiet knock, and Jim raised his head about to give the intruder holy hell when a geriatric woman waltzed into his office, plastic container in hand, and a welcoming and friendly smile upon her face. Jim recognized her for what must be the woman that was supposed to be sitting at reception waiting for him to address her in passing.

 

“Hello Captain Gordon. I trust you’re feeling better after your stay in hospital?”

 

“Well enough, thank you.” Jim responded with no emotion. “I’m sorry, but you are?” He was going to take to task whatever uniform she belonged too in a way that they would never forget. The promise of it warm in his gut.

 

The woman colored slightly as she advanced upon his desk. “I’m Grace Bullock. My son just transferred here.” She noted a split second of unguarded surprise upon Jim’s expression and it disappeared as quickly as it appeared. “You can’t miss him.”

 

Jim rose from his seated position which was only polite. “Yes,” Jim agreed straightening his tie down over his stomach as he rounded the desk to get to Grace. “I’ve met him. Harvey is it?”

 

Grace beamed with absolute pride, her eyes shinning with just how much affection she harbored for her son. “Why yes. Harvey is so thrilled to be working here. It’s all he talks about, especially how honored he is to be working alongside of you.” Grace paused and glanced down at the plastic container with the locking, flapped, lid. “I made you some Irish Lace cookies. They’re traditional.” She said placing the container onto the corner of his desk. She slightly giggled, hiding it behind a hand. “Not very much in this case, as they usually come out around Christmas time. But dare I say, I thought this occasion was worth of a wee bite.” She patted the container. “Harvey doesn’t know that I’m here, otherwise there might be a fuss.” Grace assured as she reached out and placed a hand upon Jim’s, taking the appendage in between her own. “You listen to me Jim Gordon,”

 

“I’m sorry Mrs. Bullock but I really,”

 

“ **Listen**.” Grace insisted squeezing his hand and leaning toward shim with a pointed gaze. She was not going to be interrupted or dismissed so easily. “My Harvey has always wanted to help people; to be a police man. I’ve been worried sick since he’s graduated the academy that he will get hurt or worse. Knowing now that it can happen to any rank,” She motioned to his forehead with a nod. “I should worry even _more_. However, Captain Gordon I don’t. And do you know why?”

 

Jim was mentally counting to remain polite. “I can’t imagine.” He issued from between a clenched tooth smile.

 

Grace arched an eyebrow as his discomfort was not lost on her. “I don’t worry because my son has faith. Faith in **you** , Sir. Harvey believes in Gotham; he has faith in justice and the police force. Most importantly he has **hope**. Hope that you gave him ever since he saw you on television, or read about you in the newspaper. That is not an easy thing to do, Jim Gordon; to give an Irishman hope. Yet you have, and now I ask you to never do anything that would break my Harvey’s heart.” Grace’s grip intensified, and Jim couldn’t be certain, but he thought he felt her pull him a little closer by it. Her eyes were dead locked with his own. “The cookies might be a trifle, but my son’s faith in you is _not_. I hope you understand that Captain.”

 

Jim touched her arm with his opposite hand. “I do Mrs. Bullock.” He assured herding her gently but insistently towards the door of his office. “I appreciate you stopping by, but I really need to get back to work, and making your son proud.”

 

“No need to fuss over me, Dear.” Grace assured him pulling her sweater closed a little more around her when she released his hand. “I know you’re up to your eyes ‘ _in the shit’_ ; as my son would say. I just appreciate that you have sense enough to permit an old mother to thank you on behalf of her son. Whom would never dare to say such things to you himself for fear of you shoving him unceremoniously out the office door.”

 

Jim halted abruptly, and Grace Bullock crossed her arms, gazing up at him with green eyes that knew he had only been humoring her long enough to get around the desk to escort her out. Exactly the type of thing he would have done if it had been Harvey saying the words, yet even more so. “Mrs. Bullock,”

 

“Don’t waste my time, Captain.” Grace stated insistently. “I most assuredly have not wasted yours. Harvey is a good cop; has the potential to be an excellent one. He will bend over backwards, jump too, kill himself to uphold that badge on his chest. And he will do the very same for you if you, so I suggest that you give him more than just an occasional grunt of dismissal if you want to keep his admiration.”

 

“To be perfectly honest with you Mrs. Bullock; admiration doesn’t get the job done.”

 

“Neither does alienating the best men and women you could ever ask for underneath your command. A simple smile, pat on the back and ‘good job’ goes along way Dear. Take it from a mom who knows.”

 

“I will, Mrs. Bullock.” Jim stated taken aback at how Grace would come here for her son when his own mother hadn’t even returned his call from having made detective first grade, let alone captain. Harvey was a fortunate man to have her and Jim felt his heart twist in envy and the emotion flashed behind his gaze.

 

Grace patted his arm having seen the pain in his eyes. “Now I know you will, Dear.” Harper abruptly opened the door and informed Jim that the Mayor was on line two. Grace smiled sweetly at Jim and bade him a good day, exiting his office. She smiled broadly at Harper and allowed the woman to help her to the stairs of the mezzanine.  “Thank you so much.” She called back up once she reached the bottom of the stair case and gave Harper a wave.

 

Harvey was entering the bullpen with a collar, and his FTO, when he immediately noticed Grace. She gave him a little wave and Harvey felt his stomach drop to his feet. He looked at Cooper and asked if he could just have a single minute before booking the perp. Cooper said no; predictably; but Harvey told him that he had to insist as his mother was here. Cooper relented; having an elderly father of his own to care for; and Harvey hurried over to Grace. His expression was paled and eyes worried.

 

“Ma! What happened? Is everyone all right? Did someone mug you? Are you hurt?”

 

Grace grabbed Harvey by the cheeks. “Lion; _dearest_ ; everyone and everything is all right.” She lowered her hands and slipped her arm through his. “No, walk your old ma to the door.”

 

Relief swept over Harvey and he visibly relaxed some. “I’d love too but I can’t. I need to book an unsuccessful convenience store robber. By the grace of Cooper, I’m talking to you now.”

 

“In that case, I’ll show myself out.”

 

“Yeah, but Ma. Why are you here to begin with?”

 

Grace gave a flippant wave. “It’s nothing. I was just talking to Captain Gordon.” She leaned in and whispered so only Harvey could hear. “You’re right. The cameras don’t do him justice.” Harvey’s stomach seized painfully, and he felt light headed with the dread abruptly filling him.

 

“Ma, please tell me you didn’t talk to him. Why? Why would you do that? Do you know that he could transfer me out of this job if my _mother_ bothered him?”

 

“Relax Dear.” Grace assured Harvey squeezing his arm against her. “We had a lovely conversation. I brought him some Laces and he can be a very nice man if you just look past his stoic surface.”

 

“Stoic? Try ‘rough’ or ‘angry’ Ma.” They were almost to the desk Sargent  and Grace kissed Harvey on the cheek.

 

“He doth protest too much, Lion.” Grace assured him. She looked past him and saw Cooper glaring in their direction and she waved to him, he cracked a smile and waved at her in return. Harvey grabbed her hand and pulled it down.

 

“Ma! Please!” Harvey leaned in to whisper to her. “Will you please just go home? I’ll talk to you tonight at dinner. And we can figure out how I’m going to salvage my dignity from the wreckage you incurred today.”

 

“Harvey, you listen to your mother. You don’t need to ‘fix’ anything. Stay out of his office and have a safe rest of the day.” Grace lowered the finger of warning she had been shaking at him before turning on her heel and leaving Harvey standing alone.

 

“I’m dead.” Harvey announced to himself as he placed his hands upon his head. “I’m fucking **dead**!” He shook his head and lowered his arms. He happened to glance up at Jim’s office to make himself feel even worse, when Jim Gordon took care of that for him. The man was standing at the railing that overlooked the bullpen and was signing a couple of things for Harper. Jim glanced up from the clip board and caught Harvey’s gaze. “Ooof, _course_.” Harvey mused to himself as he quickly turned and made a bee line for Cooper and their collar. “He’s not happy and I’m dead. Thanks Ma. I’m **dead**.”

 

“She all right?” Cooper asked when Harvey reached him.

 

Pleasantly surprised by Cooper’s genuine concern, Harvey nodded. “Yeah, I mean. She’s fine. Thankfully.”

 

Cooper nodded curtly. “Good.” Nothing more was said about the incident, except when a few other uniforms got wind of it, they teased Bullock about his ‘ _mommy’_ coming to work to check up on him. Harvey endured the ribbing and kept stealing glances at Jim whenever they both were in the building at the same time. A practice that compounded the emotional component of the situation making it far worse, but something that Harvey couldn’t talk himself out of doing.

 

That night when the janitorial service was cleaning the building, Jim sat at his desk. His tie was off and in the pocket of his suit jacket, which was hung upon the coat rack in his office. His sleeves were rolled up a little and the first two buttons of his shirt undone. He looked up from the report he was reading and noted the plastic container. He reached for it, opened it, and noticed the ‘property of Grace Bullock’ complete with her street address on a label taped to the other side of it. He discarded the lid and reached into the container and removed a cookie. By the time he was ready to go home all but seven of them were eaten. He was going to have to pay Grace Bullock a visit, return her plastic wear, and thank her.

 

Several days later Harvey was exhausted from avoiding Jim Gordon at work. He never realized how successful he had become at ensuring their paths would cross throughout the day than he did when he was attempting to reverse the phenomenon. In the end he surrendered on the third day and just kept his eyes down and hoped that the blush on his cheeks and ears wasn’t that noticeable. The teasing about his mother visiting him at work to change his diapers had ceased, and Harvey was thankful of that. It was Grace’s church choir practice night so Harvey was over at the apartment. The girls were in their room with a couple of friends sleeping over and his brother was out with his mates at the pub. Harvey was slumped on the couch in jeans, a tee shirt and flannel over shirt, fiddling with the remote when he heard a sharp knock upon the door. Noting that it was too early for his mother’s return he rose from the couch and cautiously approached. Glancing out of the peep hole his heart sunk his stomach and he stopped breathing altogether.

 

Jim Gordon.

 

Jim Gordon was at his mother’s apartment.

 

Why was Jim Gordon at his mother’s apartment? Was he looking for Harvey? What could he possibly want with Harvey? And how did he know that if he wasn’t at his own apartment that he would be at his mother’s? Swallowing for courage Harvey reached for the door.

 

“Captain!” He greeted a little overly cheerful. “Please, come in.”

 

Jim shrugged in his expensive suit jacket and shook his head. “I was just returning this to your mother.” He held out the plastic container, the locked lid snapped in place. “She came by the station the other day,”

 

“I am **really** sorry about that, Sir.” Harvey interrupted, then blushed and felt worse when he realized that he had cut his boss off. “I mean, she saw in the news that you were injured, and I guess she felt she _had_ to do something.” He scratched at the stubble on his chin. “Sorry again.”

 

“It’s,” Jim paused and held Harvey’s gaze. “All right?” It was more of a question than anything and he pushed the container at Harvey once more in indication for him to take it. “I do appreciate the gift though. You’ll convey that to her, won’t you?”

 

“Sure, oh yeah.” Harvey said realizing he needed to take the proffered container.  “She’s not here. Church choir tonight. She sings.” Harvey realized he was babbling nonsense and sounding incredibly stupid so he hurriedly blurted, “Would you like to come in and wait to see her yourself? She won’t be too much longer. We could have a beer? Maybe?”

 

It was Jim’s turn to stammer and he glanced down at his wrist watch to silence himself for a moment of thought. He looked back up at Harvey and heard himself say, “Yes. I would actually. If you don’t mind?”

 

“Not at all, Sir. Wouldn’t have offered otherwise.” Harvey felt his heartbeat racing in his chest and he stepped back to allow Jim to pass over the threshold. “Come in; please.”

 

Jim did as he was asked. “Do you mind if I take off my coat and tie?”

 

“No, please do. Get comfortable. We can sit in the kitchen or out here?” Jim glanced at the living room and the running television.

 

“Here is fine.”

 

“Alright. I’ll be right back with those brews.” He turned off the television and tossed the remote onto the couch as he passed it on his way to the kitchen. When he returned Jim was rolling up his shirt sleeves and had hung up his suit jacket with the tie in the pocket, upon one of the empty pegs. “He you are Sir.” Harvey stated holding out the beer for his boss.

 

Jim smiled slightly. “We’re off duty. It’s strange to have you call me, sir.”

 

“Oh, yeah. All right.” Harvey quickly backtracked. “Here’s your beer, Cap.” Harvey smiled slightly. “That any better?”

 

Jim shook his head still not taking the beer. “No.”

 

“So, what should I,” Harvey motioned for his Captain to fill in the blank.

 

“How about Jim, and I’ll call you Harvey?”

 

“Absolutely.” Harvey agreed. “So, in that case; here’s your beer; _Jim_.”

 

“Thank you, _Harvey_.” Jim stated reaching out for the can. There was a split second of silence as their fingers brushed, the beer nearly falling to the floor, but Jim juggled it back into his hand.

 

“Woah. Got away from us.” Harvey stated before taking a step backward from Jim and running a hand through his hair. “You alright?”

 

“Yes. I have it well in hand now, thank you.” Jim stated showing Harvey the beer to demonstrate.

 

“Have a seat.” Harvey directed moving to the couch. Jim immediately thanked him and took a seat upon the couch to Harvey’s left. The two opened their beers and Harvey toasted his commanding officer. “To the GCPD.” Harvey’s expression blanched. “Or should we not talk about work?”

 

“No, no. Talking shop is permissible.” If they didn’t, Jim wondered; what else would they find to talk about? He toasted Harvey in return. “To the GCPD.” They clacked cans and then both took a sip of the beer. “Thank you for this.” Jim stated holding the can between his knees, hands there as well.

 

“It’s not a problem.” Harvey assured smiling a little with pride. “You must spend allot of time in bars with the guys anyway.”

 

Jim’s brow furrowed, and he dropped his gaze to the can as his thumb rubbed against the tab. “Not so much. No.” He hid his pain behind a smirk but said honestly. “The offers are few and far between.”

 

“Oh.” Harvey said as way of both apology and surprise. “I never asked because I didn’t think you had much time for, you know; a lowly uniform.”

 

Jim took a sip of beer and nodded. “I usually discourage fraternization, not that the men like to be in my company outside of the precinct anyway.”

 

“I would.” Harvey stated before he could censor his honest tongue. “Which, I mean, you know. You’re a cop and been detective and uh,” He shrugged as his features reddened with each passing word. “that’s where I’m headed. I want to be a suit just like you. Well I mean **then** ; not _now_ obviously. Though, I could probably make a kick ass captain given half the chance years from now.” He took a swig of beer to shut himself up before he embarrassed himself further.

 

Jim’s smile was genuine this time. “It’s a little more complicated then they make it look in the brochure.” His smile faded. “If I had known how much politics would really be involved I might have just stayed a detective.”

 

“No, don’t say _that_.” Harvey urged turning a little to face Jim. He placed his beer on a magazine that sat upon the coffee table. “You’re the exact kind of captain Gotham needs; someone that truly cares what happens to her people. It’s **because** you don’t like politics that it makes you so good. You care about the civilians; about the men and women under your command. You don’t care about the bottom line dollar in your pockets that the other politicians do. You’re good for Gotham.”

 

“Thank you for saying that Harvey.” Jim admitted feeling horrible about the deals he had made to get where he was; Carmine Falcone, Oswald Cobblepot, Fish Mooney and Sophia Falcone; all mistakes each one. But in the end Jim knew that he would still have to make those same concessions to get to where he was currently; but not to where he wished to get to. He vowed. Police Commissioner would be different; he would do it his way. At least, he hoped that he wouldn’t have to continue to be morally flexible to reach his end goal.  “But I wouldn’t put me; or anyone; on a pedestal. Human beings are flawed and idolizing them can get you hurt.

 

Harvey shrugged. “I don’t have you on a pedestal. I know you’re brisk and a hard core, by the book, task master. But you also have integrity, common sense and; like I said just now; you truly care about Gotham.” Harvey shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck a little. “From where I’m sitting, it doesn’t get much more flawed human being then that.”

 

“Well, I appreciate your candor.” Jim said as a slight blush colored his cheeks. “It’s not every day I’m humanized so thoroughly by someone who wears the uniform.”

 

“I bet Mrs. Gordon has a lot to say on that front.” Harvey teased, his smile abruptly vanishing at the expression on Jim’s face. “Holy crap; you’re divorced, and I just brought up wives,”

 

“It’s alright Harvey.” Jim assured raising a hand but failing to touch Harvey with it. “I’ve never been married so there’s no misses Gordon.” He chuckled without mirth. “Not even a _potential_ , misses Gordon. The engagements never followed through.” Jim took a sip of beer to silence himself.

 

“I’m sorry to hear that, Jim.” Harvey offered rubbing his palms down the outside of his thighs to his knees. “If I had known, I wouldn’t have said anything.”

 

“I know.” Jim soothed putting his half-finished beer upon the coffee table along side of Harvey’s on the magazine. He realized he should have eaten something before coming over and having a drink. He was feeling a little light headed from the beer.  “It’s not like I come with a pocket manual.” He scratched his wrist lightly under the leather band of his watch. “How are you going to learn anything if you don’t ask questions?”

 

“Exactly.” Harvey stated pointing at Jim gratefully.

 

“So, what about you? Any future misses Bullock’s on the horizon?”

 

“No. No fiancé, or boyfriend or girlfriend. I was trying to wait until I made detective before I attempted finding anyone to fill that role. The whole, house and kids’ thing. Career first for the moment. Ma isn’t too happy about that, but I think she understands. She married young, had nine of us, and then kicked the lazy bastard to the curb. He cheated on her and was unemployed so, not much help my dad. I barely remember him as it is.”

 

Jim could see the pain in Harvey’s eyes that bespoke volumes to the contrary. Perhaps he was fulfilling a bit of a father figure within the young rookie’s eyes after all. The thought was disappointing.  “My father,” Jim paused and cleared his throat. He sat back in the couch and ran his left palm down his face before admitting, “we were very close. He died when I was ten. We were in a car accident; a drunk driver hit us. He died on the scene and I was badly injured.” Jim nodded. “Before that? He wasn’t home that much. Always working, always trying to make Gotham a better city for the people. In the end, the only thing that he accomplished was being absent from my life when I needed him.”

 

“Wow.” Harvey stated sympathetically. “Way to bring down the room.” To his relief, Jim laughed at this, his chuckle genuine and not forced. “Do you miss him?”

 

“Every damn day.” Jim admitted with a sad smile. “Do you?”

 

“Me? I never knew your father.” Jim arched an eyebrow and Harvey quickly issued, “No. I was never close to him. It would have been nice to have a father once and a while, but honestly? Ma was all we needed growing up. She was everything; raised us all on her own and my brothers and I are better men for it.”

 

“She seems like an amazing woman.” Jim complimented, gaze taking in Harvey’s handsome features. “She’s extremely proud of you, that’s for certain.”

 

“God.” Harvey groaned and looked away from Jim. “I can’t believe she crashed your office. She told me about that.” He looked back at his guest. “I’m mortified and thankful you’re not punishing me for her invasion.”

 

“It’s alright Harvey.” Jim assured placing a hand upon Harvey’s left shoulder. The muscle beneath his grip; the warmth of Harvey’s body easily felt even through the fabric of his shirts. Jim’s smile intensified. “The cookies were my dinner the other night. I really enjoyed them.”

 

“Don’t tell her that.” Harvey stated subconsciously leaning into Jim’s touch. “She’ll take you to task for eating sugar for diner, then try and feed you something good for you. Trust me, the woman loves to feed people.”

 

Jim rubbed Harvey’s shoulder. “Well, cooking for ten people every day must become rote at some point, don’t you think?”

 

“I guess.” Harvey considered softly. He liked the soft smile curving Jim’s plush lips, and the solid feeling of the hand upon his shoulder. He was disappointed when Jim realized he was still touching him and withdrew his hand.  “I gather you and your mom aren’t close?”

 

Jim nodded. “Does it show?”

 

“I don’t know if it’s that or, one of my brothers crashed one of her classes to get close to his ex-girlfriend once. Your mom verbally kicked his ass and drove him out of the room.” Harvey grinned and tried unsuccessfully to suppress a mischievous laugh. “Serves him right the dumb ass.”

 

“That’s my mother.” Jim stated without mirth. “Nora Gordon; no nonsense professor of Gotham U since 2001.”

 

“Makes me glad I never went to college.” Harvey joked thankful to see Jim smile once more. “You did though. Right?”

 

Jim nodded. “Through the G.I. bill. I was in the military straight out of high school. She wasn’t happy about that portion of it, but in the end, it was beneficial to us both.”

 

“Siblings?”

 

“Older brother, Roger.” Jim rested his elbow upon the arm of the couch and then pushed his head against his closed and raised fist. “I know you’ve got eight.”

 

“Irish Catholic; bound to be a big family.” He shrugged. “Do you want kids someday?”

 

“Yeah, I do. You?”

 

“Sure. Raise a few and see what happens. Maybe one of them will carry on in the great tradition of police work.”

 

“It certainly is a noble profession.” Jim stated, and Harvey wasn’t certain if he was proud or pained with the admission.

 

“Well, what would you be doing if not this?”

 

“I honestly have no answer to that.” Jim leaned forward and reached for his beer. Resting his elbows upon his knees he looked at Harvey over his right shoulder. “I think this is what I was born to do. Sadly.”

 

“C’mon.” Harvey urged trying to rally Jim’s enthusiasm. He reached out and began to rub the older man’s shoulder blades and back. “Being a cop is awesome. You _know_ it is. You just had a bad day and are coming down from the sucrose high of all those cookies Ma baked you.”

 

Jim turned his head away and closed his eyes and fought not to arch his back into Harvey’s touch. The physical contact went straight to his stomach, warming his torso and then pushing lower still. Had it really been so long that he had been touched that even this little bit of human contact was affecting him drastically? Jim grunted and looked back at Harvey once more, felt the younger male pat his back and reluctantly withdraw his hand. “They were damned good though.”

 

“I didn’t say it wasn’t worth it. Just that you’re crashing now.” Harvey teased lightly in hopes that Jim wasn’t uncomfortable having been touched in such an intimate manner. Thus far he hadn’t commented on it, so Harvey hoped he was home free. Jim was about to speak when the front door opened, and Grace Bullock walked in, casserole dish in hand. Her face instantly lit up upon seeing the two men on the couch looking back at her.

 

“Why Captain Gordon! What a lovely surprise.” Harvey immediately rose up, passed Jim and went to help his mother. He took the casserole dish from her while she removed her coat and set down her purse. “And just what brings you here, dear?”

 

Jim rose; a little unsteadily; to his feet. “I was just returning your Tupperware and your son invited me in for a beer.”

 

“Oh good. Welcome, welcome. Are you boys hungry?” She asked taking the still warm dish from Harvey’s care. “We had a pot luck raffle at the church tonight and I won back my own Sheppard’s Pie.”

 

“Ma,” Harvey questioned. “Why’d you do that?”

 

“If you had tasted the rest of those ladies’ cooking you would be thankful that I did.” She shuddered and looked at Jim. “You must stay and have something to eat. Come into the kitchen the both of you and I’ll make you up a plate.”

 

“No, really Mrs. Bullock,” Jim began. “There’s really no need to,”

 

“I can’t hear you Dear!” Grace stated as she entered the kitchen and called back over her shoulder. Harvey placed his hand upon Jim’s shoulder.

 

“Just, give it up man. She’s in mother bird feeding mode. You’ll be lucky if you get out of here without leftovers.” Harvey shrugged and scooped up their beers and handed Jim’s to him. “Come on. Into the kitchen with us.” He paraphrased of his mother’s beckoning.

 

By the time Jim entered the kitchen, Harvey’s beer was on the table and he was attempting to get his mother plates out of the cupboard. She shooed him away and told him not to be rude to their guest by leaving him alone. Harvey motioned for Jim to sit at the table and then chose the chair adjacent to him.  “All we can do now is wait.” Harvey leaned over and uttered to Jim softly.

 

“It’s fine. Really.” He sat up straight and addressed Grace. “This is very kind of you Mrs. Bullock.”

 

“Oh, it’s miss, Capitan. Bullock is my maiden name. I didn’t want myself nor my children to be an O’Reily if their father was the spawn of the devil and believe me, he **was**.”  She set two glasses of water down along side of their beers. “Now, call me Grace if you would please.”

 

“Then I insist you call me Jim.”

 

“I would be delighted.” Grace winked at Jim and scurried back to scoop some of the meal onto plates for them both. “I assume the girls ate?” She asked Harvey with her back to him.

 

“Yeah, the pizza completely disappeared.” Harvey assured his mother. He glanced at Jim. “Sleep over.” Jim nodded as if he knew anything about teenage girls and their habit of spending the night at one another’s homes. Grace used the microwave to quickly heat up their portions and then placed both plates before them. She returned quickly with forks and cloth napkins for them.

 

“Would you like some butter or salt, Jim?”

 

“Ma.” Harvey scolded lightly. “Let the poor man take a bite first.”

 

“Hush up.” Grace teased her son and grabbed him playfully by the ear. She looked at Jim and waited patiently for him to test his food.

 

It was delicious. Jim groaned with pleasure and complimented Grace and told her it was perfect the way it was. He then began to dig in, trying very hard not to just unhinge his jaw and shovel forkfuls into his gob. Harvey tested his own, agreed with Jim, and attempted to eat slow as well.

 

“I didn’t realize how hungry I was until you came home with food, Ma.”

 

“It’s no good to drink your supper Harvey.” She looked at Jim and then sat down upon the chair adjacent to his right, Harvey on his left and across from her.  “Has my son been harassing you with questions all evening? He’s very keen to discuss police work.”

 

“Ma,” Harvey admonished with a little firmness. “We’re not really talking shop tonight, okay? It was all just regular guy stuff.”

 

Grace looked from Harvey to Jim. “I should probably check on the girls and let you boys eat.” She patted Jim’s hand and then rose from the chair. “I’ll be back in a little while.” She pointed to Harvey’s glass of water. “Make sure he drinks that; will you please Jim?”

 

“Don’t promise that!” Harvey issued pointing at Jim. Once they were alone he apologized once more for Grace’s mothering of them.

 

“Actually, I don’t mind it.” Jim admitted not knowing if it were just Harvey’s company that made him talkative or if it were the gentle buzz he was experiencing from the beer. Either way he was too shy to look at Harvey’s face while he admitted, “My mother was never like this.” He nodded a couple of times in acknowledgment of the truth. “I always wished she were though.” He could feel Harvey’s gaze upon him but kept his eyes on his plate rather than chance seeing Harvey’s expression.

 

“She’s a wonderful woman, Ma.” Harvey explained. He dared to reach out and place his hand upon Jim’s. The older man startled at the contact and abruptly met Harvey’s stare. “What’s one more son to love, right?”

 

Jim smiled back and applied a little pressure to their union of hands. The way Harvey was looking at him made Jim ache with want and need. He uttered something soft, affirmative sounding and tugged back on their hands to sever the touch. Harvey’s grip was insistent, and for several silent seconds they continued to stare at one another.

 

“You’re always welcome here Jim. Or at my apartment. Please know that.”

 

“I will.” Jim assured his tone broken with the sharp taste of the emotions he was experiencing. “Thank you, Harvey.”

 

The two of them continued to talk and both stuck to water after the exchange. After a while their laughter drew Grace out to tell them that she was going to bed. Jim aided Harvey with the washing up and noted the time on his wrist watch. It was late; after midnight; and he realized he wouldn’t be home in his own bed until well after one a.m. Even though he was reluctant to leave, and Harvey to allow him too, Jim said his good night and Harvey walked him down to the street. They both headed in separate directions, Harvey only living three buildings away, so he refused Jim’s offer to drive him home.  Once Jim was behind the wheel he felt an extreme sense of loss, a part of him still able to feel the warmth of Harvey’s hand upon his back, and holding his hand. Jim cursed to himself realizing he had gone too far that night and was going to have to suffer the consequences the following days at work.

 

However, Harvey was nothing but discrete later that morning. He spent the day busy on the streets with Cooper, and whenever he was in house at the precinct he was just finishing up paperwork and processing bookings. He may have glanced up towards Jim’s office now and then, but they only crossed gazes a couple of times, the rest of the day Jim was too shackled to the desk in his own office. When the end of shift finally rolled around all he was able to do was give Harvey a curt nod as the younger male passed outside of the doorway of the break room on his way downstairs to the bullpen and out of the precinct. He was already dressed in his civilian clothing and Jim had been getting some fresh coffee. Two days later he was eye deep in incident report reviews for major cases when he heard a soft knock on the threshold of the door.

 

“Thank you, Maria, but the office doesn’t need dusting and the trash is already been emptied.”

 

“Good thing I’m not here for that.” Harvey joked from across the room. Jim’s head shot up and there was the younger male, leaning in the door way with a couple of grocery bags in his hands. “Hungry?” He asked holding up the recycled bags in reference.

 

“What? Have you brought me food?”

 

Harvey nodded his head and pushed himself away from the doorframe. He crossed to Jim’s desk. “Complements of Ma.” He set both bags down upon the desk, oblivious to the stacks of file folders, binders or loose paper he sat them upon. “I haven’t eaten either, but she was very insistent that I came here and check on you.”

 

“Harvey, you’ll have to thank Grace but,” He paused and opened his hands in indication of his over flowing desk.

 

“What? You don’t ever eat? How is that going to make the work flow go faster?” He smirked at Jim. “C’mon. A few minutes in the break room, a little meal in your belly, some fresh coffee, you’ll be focused the rest of the night. Please?” When Jim merely stared at him skeptically he sang, “You liked her Sheppard’s pie.” Extending the word pie he rattled the handles of the bags at Jim in indication.

 

Jim knew that he should snap back with his authoritative voice; tell Harvey that he was becoming over zealously familiar in an inappropriate manner, but Jim couldn’t. He couldn’t say the words; couldn’t deny that he was hungry; and could not tell Harvey no. Instead he agreed and rose from the desk. He grabbed one of the bags and left the other for Harvey, and led him into the break room. The atmosphere of the room shifted instantly when Jim carelessly thanked Harvey for coming to dinner only after everyone else had gone home. He realized his mistake when Harvey issued a soft, “Of course. Fraternization and all that.”

 

“Harvey, I didn’t mean it that I’m ashamed of you,”

 

Anger flared in Harvey as he spat, “Why the hell would you be?”

 

Jim groaned in frustration. “I’m only making this worse. All I meant to say was, thank you.”

 

“Then next time? Stop right there. Yeah?”

 

Jim smiled. “Yeah.”

 

Over the next several weeks Harvey brought groceries to Grace, and Grace sent him out with meals to share with Jim. Jim would text Harvey when he was leaving work; or if he couldn’t; and would meet Harvey at his loft apartment. They’d share dinner there; or after hours in Jim’s office, always talking long into the evening. Right after work Harvey would come over to Grace’s and regale her with all he had done that day, then launch into a dissertation about ‘Jim this’ or ‘Jim that’, his affection clearly visible. She knew instantly that her son was losing his heart to the older male, and she wasn’t so certain that the sentiment didn’t run both ways. She had seen the way Jim looked at her; like a child caught touching themselves for the first time by their parents; when she opened the door that first evening after choir practice. He flushed, stood up too fast, couldn’t keep his gaze on hers, instead sweeping it to Harvey for rescue. Regardless, Harvey could not stop talking about the man, and Grace could not help thinking that she needed to get to know Jim through her own eyes.

 

She decided what to do. Harvey and Jim hadn’t seen one another outside of work for a few days and Harvey was morose and snapping at anyone rather than issue a greeting. It was around lunch time, Harvey was out on patrol and Grace marched herself right by the desk Sargent  and up the stairs to Jim’s office. She winked at Harper, who smiled in return and did nothing to stop her from entering Jim’s office. The door was open; therefore, Grace didn’t bother knocking; and saw Jim look up at her in shock when she cleared her throat. His surprise shifted quickly to discomfort with a smile as he inquired as to the reason for her presence.

 

“It’s lunch time, and I want you to take an old lady to dine.” She looked at Jim expectantly and he made to push away from the desk. Grace quickly injected, “Don’t you dare stand up if you’re going to usher me to the door, Jim Gordon.” Her gaze narrowed in warning. “Now if you are standing to give me your arm and take me to lunch, then by all means; I’m waiting.”

 

“You’re not going to take no for an answer, are you?” Grace arched an eyebrow.

 

“I’ve fed you for weeks and you can’t even afford me the curtesy of a small lunch?” Grace admonished sternly. Surrendering, Jim called for Harper and told her to rearrange his afternoon itinerary. Harper was a little smug when she left, but Jim failed to notice. Instead he walked over to Grace and offered her his arm.

 

“Shall we?”

 

“We shall.”

 

It felt decedent to leave the office for lunch. Especially when it was not to dine with this official or that, to beg for a larger budget or new equipment, and manpower. In addition, he wasn’t eating on the run to this crime scene or that one. Instead he was seated in a nicer restaurant and in the company of someone he liked and respected. “I do really appreciate you making dinner,”

 

“Oh, never mind that. I like to feed my boys.” Grace dismissed with a wave of her hand. The waitress took their orders and left them to their drinks and discussion. “I want to know all about you. I know what Harvey’s told me, but I wanted to see for myself just what makes you so special to him. Aside from the obvious that is.”

 

Jim nodded. “There’s not much to know. I’m ambitious, devoted to justice,”

 

“Oh, not all of what I already know, Dear.” Grace interrupted with a shake of her head. “I want to see what he sees, when he looks at you, with my own eyes.”

 

Jim leaned forward a little bit, his forearms pushing away from the table. “And just what is that exactly?”

 

Grace rolled her eyes in a way that Jim had seen Harvey do so often at roll call when someone said or done something, or something had happened that was just a pain to deal with the cleanup of. He couldn’t help but smirk at her gesture, thinking instantly of her son. Grace caught his eye and leaned forward and said softly, “If you don’t know that he’s in love with you Jim, then you weren’t a very good detective, were you?”

 

Jim’s expression blanched, and Grace reached out and touched his face with a warm hand. “That’s what I need to see for myself, Jim dear. What he sees, so I can know whether you’re going to break his heart or not, by accepting or refusing him.” She patted Jim’s cheek and slowly pulled her hand away. “Because the time is coming when he’s going to do something drastic; make an overture. You must know that. Don’t you?”

 

“Grace,” Jim began fighting to keep his voice steady. “I think that this is a very personal conversation that I don’t want to have with you. If I discuss anything at all, it should be with Harvey.”

 

“Humm.” Grace mused sitting back in her chair. “You don’t want to admit to yourself that you feel something. I saw you two on the couch that first night. His hand was on your back, you glared at me with both horror at being caught, and furious with me for interrupting. I refuse to believe that you would spend all this time with Harvey if you weren’t interested in him beyond a subordinate.”

 

Jim’s jaw set, his left cheek twitching in response to his building anger and discomfort. “We’re **friends**.” Harvey was the only one that Jim truly had yet he wasn’t about to blurt that out to Grace. “And yes, he is my subordinate and I need to treat him as such.”

 

“At work. But at home that’s another story altogether isn’t it, Dear?” She arched an eyebrow in challenge of him. “If you care about him, _tell_ him. If you want to be with him, then **be** with him. I know you’re not the same age, but Harvey’s always been mature for his years and he sees something lovely in you and I want him to be happy. Don’t you want to be happy, Captain Gordon? Don’t you deserve a little slice of joy of your own?”

 

No. He didn’t. And that was the issue.  He was absolutely incensed and clenched a fist in reaction. He needed to remove himself from the situation for a brief interlude before he said or did something he would later regret. Jim pushed himself away from the table and rose. “Would you excuse me for a moment please?” He didn’t give Grace a chance to answer as he hurried to the men’s room. He turned the tap on towards cold and splashed water on his face.  This was a nightmare. It was one thing to have the thoughts in his own head, but far worse to realize that someone outside of his brain had noticed. That **knew** he was damaged and not good enough to be loved. He was always found lacking. Sarah, Barbra, Leslie and Vicki? All of them were failures because Jim couldn’t be himself; couldn’t do enough to please them; couldn’t live up to their expectations and his own unreasonable ones. It hurt to have someone sit before him and call him out on his weaknesses. Harvey was a weakness. Harvey was a friend; Jim didn’t need nor could have friends. He wasn’t a social guy; he didn’t say much about his feelings even for other men; Jim just wasn’t wired that way. Now Grace was calling him out; demanding to know what he thought about her son; how he felt about him. Harvey was a dirty little secret that Jim coveted and now he was being forced to share.

 

He hated it. Hated her for challenging him like this. Jim was having a hard-enough time keeping himself from doing anything monumentally stupid by throwing himself at Harvey’s feet. Yet here was his mother, essentially telling him that he could have everything he dreamed about if he just said ‘yes’ to Harvey’s advances when they came.  Jim would just poison the relationship if they agreed to be together. In the end he would rot their friendship to the core; decay it from the inside out and leave Harvey a wounded mess never able to forgive him. Jim couldn’t face that, couldn’t do that to Harvey or himself. Grace needed to keep her nose out of her son’s business and leave Jim the hell alone. No more motherly moments with her. No more meals with Harvey; no more after work socializing either. Jim had to sever ties with Harvey now because Grace had opened her mouth and done the unthinkable; she had read Jim’s intentions towards her son and was encouraging them. If Grace knew then it was no leap of logic to see that others had noticed as well. The department knew, and they were sniggering behind Jim’s back. Calling him a ‘cradle robber’ and deviant.  It was just a matter of time before the Police Commissioner pulled him into his office and smugly informed him that his captaincy was over. He would leave in shame because he couldn’t keep his perversions to himself. He would be stripped of rank and good intentions all because he had fallen in love with a red haired, rookie cop; when he should have been nothing but an untouchable, ivory tower, superior officer.

 

Looking quite gray, Jim dried his face and threw away the paper towels. He returned to the table to find his meal there, and Grace patiently waiting for his arrival.

 

“Oh Jim, you look absolutely ashen. Are you all right?”

 

“Am **I,** all right?” Jim demanded a little louder than he had intended. A few people turned in their direction and Jim lowered his voice as he sat down at the table. “No, I’m not. I’m being cornered about something that is none of your damned business. I’m expected to be forthcoming with personal information that has everything to do with your son, and _nothing_ to do with you!” Jim took a visible breath to calm himself and searched Grace’s expression. “I enjoy your company, Grace; I do. But I’m not going to sit here and converse about your son and my feelings like this. I’ll pay for lunch, I’ll give you money for a cab, but this little luncheon? Is over.”

 

Grace’s expression crumbled. “I am sorry I’ve upset you. We can discuss something else if you’d like. Harvey’s just gotten all his inquisitiveness from me I’m afraid. May we start over perhaps?” She reached out for his hand, but Jim yanked it away as if her touch would burn him. “Jim?”

 

Jim shook his head and reached for his wallet from the inside pocket of his suit jacket. He took out a few bills and placed them on the table for Grace. “Cab fare.” He said before standing once more. “Enjoy your lunch.” Jim then stalked off and cornered the first wait staff member he saw to pay the bill. He then slunk out of the restaurant and headed back to the car to return to the station house. A mistake; everything in his dealings with the Bullock’s had proved to be a colossal mistake.  Once he returned to the precinct Jim put out the word that he wanted to speak with Cooper and Bullock the instant they set foot in the building. He was still incensed and struggling a little to remain calm when finally, the two men were stood before him. Seeing Harvey now, reminded Jim of everything he had lost and infuriated him once more.

 

“Sargent Cooper, how many more weeks of training does officer Bullock have until; in your opinion; he’s ready to be assigned a partner for patrol?” Jim was seated at his desk to place even more distance between him and the two men before him.

 

Cooper didn’t even grant Harvey a glance before responding. “He’s ready today, sir.”

 

Jim nodded. “I’d like you to sign off on his training completion. Harper has the form for you. Then please have Sargent  Miller assign him a grid.”

 

“Yes sir, Captain.” Cooper assured with a curt nod.

 

Jim dismissed him and was left alone with Harvey. The office door was still open, and Jim toyed with a pen before putting it down and addressing Harvey.  “Office Bullock, there will be no more dinners, personal phone calls or texts between us from here on out. You report to Sargent Miller as your commanding officer, and if you happen across my sight it better be, because I’m pinning a medal to your chest. Do I make myself clear?”

 

Even though Harvey’s back was ramrod straight, his head held up and eyes focused just above Jim’s head, the younger male’s expression was anguished. “Captain, why are you,”

 

“Is that **clear** , officer Bullock?” Jim demanded in interruption. His voice was harsh, tone acidic.

 

It was then that Harvey’s gaze met his own. “Yes, Sir.” Harvey replied in a hushed tone.

 

Jim turned to face his computer screen and began typing. “You’re dismissed Bullock.” He issued without looking at Harvey. Harvey turned and was about to the threshold when Jim barked, “Bullock? Close the door behind you.”

 

Any hope that Harvey had of Jim changing his mind were dashed at that reveal and he obeyed without slamming the door in his wake. His knees were quaking a little and he didn’t have the first clue of what had just happened, but he knew that right now was not the time to process it. He followed Cooper mechanically to Sargent Miller’s desk to be introduced to his new C.O. After shift he didn’t go by his mother’s apartment, instead went for drinks with Cooper and several other uniformed officers. By the time he reached home it was well after ten. Grace was asleep, and Harvey was simply too miserable to talk to anyone anyway. She would only make things worse by wanting to coddle him and make him feel better.

 

What had he done? Why was Jim suddenly so professional with him? Had his superiors come down on him? But who had seen them together? Who had said something? Why else would Jim be severing their friendship so abruptly? Was Jim under scrutiny? Harvey longed to know. In his drunken state he found himself clumsily texting his best friend and the man he was in love with.

 

‘What did I do Jim? I’m sorry.’

 

Harvey received no response.

 

Harvey was miserable. It had been over a week since Jim had dismissed him from his office and abruptly severed all contact. Harvey did his best to go on with his life, concentrated on his work, yet off duty he was sullen, pensive and brought easily to tears. He bowed out of all interaction with family, causing all the Bullocks to filter through contact from phone messages to stopping by his apartment to make certain he was alive. His sister Marion even used his nieces and nephews to illicit a response from him to no avail. He did however manage to go by his mothers and drop off some groceries. It was his day off, the girls were in school, his brother at work and Grace was supposed to be at the hair dressers. Harvey was in the midst of putting away the groceries when he heard his mother gasp entering the kitchen.

 

“Oh Harvey! Praise the Lord, you’re here!” She rushed to him to embrace him, and Harvey greeted and embraced her in return.

 

“Hi Ma.” He stated softly. “I just came by with the shopping.”

 

“Oh, forget about that my little Lion.” She touched his face, pushing back his hair at the sides. “Let me look at you. What’s wrong my love? Tell me.”  Harvey burst into tears and it took him about ten minutes to regain composure. By then he was seated at the table with his arms around Grace’s middle having sobbed his heart out. She pet his hair and placed gentle kisses upon his crown. “There, there, Lion.” She soothed. “Tell your mother what’s happened.”

 

Harvey released her, and she sat down adjacent him. “It’s Jim.” Harvey sniffed and wiped his face with the sleeve of his shirt. “He called me into his office like, two weeks ago and told me we couldn’t be friends anymore. He just, acted like we had never been; he just,” Harvey fought not to dissolve into tears once more. He looked at Grace pleadingly. “I don’t understand what I did wrong. Ma, what did I do?”

 

Grace reached out and took her son’s hand within her own. “Dearest Red, I think your ol’mum has an answer to that question. And it’s nothing. You’ve done **nothing** wrong. I went to see Jim a couple of weeks ago to see with my own eyes what it is you love in him so, and,” She paused, and horror etched itself across Harvey’s features.

 

“You _what_?” Harvey inquired the tone of his voice swelling to a demand. “What did you **do** Ma?”

 

Sheepishly Grace shrugged a little. “I told him that he would be a welcome addition to the family if he so chose to be.”

 

Harvey’s eyes widened. “You told him that I **love** him?” He yelled before closing his eyes and pressing his left hand against his forehead, his right still in Grace’s hands. “Jesus Ma!”

 

“Little Lion,”

 

“ **Don’t** , ‘ _little lion’_ me!” Harvey insisted opening his eyes to flash his anger at her. “You had no right Ma. You told him and now he’s cut me off from everything! I wasn’t going to tell him yet, I was going to develop our friendship more before I said anything.”

 

“You were not, Dear.” Grace dismissed knowingly. “You would have thrown yourself at him because you wear your loving heart upon your sleeve. Let’s be honest, now. I made a mistake in saying anything and for that I’m sorry. But his reaction should tell you that he’s not mature enough to be in a relationship with you.”

 

Harvey groaned and yanked his hand from her grasp and rose to stand. “But at least we still would have had our friendship, Ma!” He shouted throwing his arms out from his sides. “Now we don’t even have that!” Harvey growled in frustration and faced his mother. “I have to fix this.” He said calmly. “I have to explain to him that this is all just a cluster fuck of misunderstanding.” Harvey shook his head. “I have to get him to let me talk to him.” Helplessly he looked at his mother. “How do I do that?”

 

“I don’t know,” Grace began with tears misting in her eyes. “but we’ll figure something out my Lion. We’ll figure something out.”

 

It took some sweet talking on his part, and out right begging when his charm was failing to bolster his argument. However, after seeing the utter desperation within him Harper relented and gave Harvey the information that he needed. From there it was just a matter of borrowing his brother’s car and following Jim home from the evening dinner meeting at the Mayor’s estate. Harper had been kind enough to give him a copy of Jim’s day planner for the week, the information transferring easily from her tablet to his phone. The following night Jim had nothing to keep him late at work so once he was off shift Harvey headed over to Jim’s walk up and sat upon the stairs and waited. Fortunately, Jim had decided not to work late. He saw the figure on the steps in the jacket and hoodie but didn’t know it to be Harvey until he approached the stairs.

 

“Do I even need to tell you how inappropriate this is, officer Bullock?” Jim asked taking out his keys. Harvey rose to stand.

 

“Ma told me what she did to you.” He waited for Jim to ascend a couple of steps before continuing. “She wrong though.” Jim’s fist clenched around his keys. “I wouldn’t have done anything to jeopardize our friendship. That meant the world to me. I could live without your love but not without that.” Harvey wiped away a renegade tear and held Jim’s gaze. His tone dropped to a near whisper. “Please don’t take that away from us because I feel the way I do. There’s no reason to punish yourself like this. We’re friends; why can’t we just be that?” Jim said nothing, walked past Harvey and pressed the code to unlock the entry way door. He could hear Harvey pivot on the concrete stairs behind him. “Please Jim? Think about it?”

 

Jim said nothing as he entered the building and the door closed behind him. He didn’t pause to check his mail box; he merely walked up the stairs and didn’t look back over his shoulder. He knew if he did that Harvey would see the tears in his eyes. Two of them crying would be too much to bare, so Jim merely kept walking; his breath coming in painful huffs.  Outside Harvey shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and headed back down the stairs to the side walk. He had tried, so now all he needed to do was wait and see if Jim would relent.

 

Jim knew he was a little drunk. He had to be the way the words of the text message were slightly blurred. He read, and re-read Harvey’s message of, _‘What did I do Jim? I’m sorry._ ’ He typed out a response and sent it before he could change his mind.

 

‘Nothing.’

 

Jim then placed the phone in his suit trouser pocket and hauled himself to his feet. He left the bottle open, grabbed a leather jacket, his wallet and keys and exited the door to his flat. He took a cab to Harvey’s building and got off the elevator on the wrong floor, knocking on the wrong door before he was able to put himself to rights and climb the stair well to the appropriate floor. Standing before Harvey’s loft door, he leaned against the wall for support and knocked with his opposite hand. He was about to knock once more when Harvey opened the door with a look of utter shock upon his face.

 

“S’ill wanna be friendsh?” Jim asked before falling through the threshold of the door and into Harvey’s arms. He didn’t know if Harvey answered or not, as the world spun and went dark. It was the scent of coffee and bacon that woke him, that along with the screaming of his bladder to empty it. Realizing he was in Harvey’s loft and his bed, Jim made a bee line for the bathroom to relieve himself. He had a mildly annoying headache, felt a little stiff, but other than that didn’t feel hungover. He washed his hands and exited back into the main chamber seeing Harvey in the kitchen area, using a spatula to place eyes upon a plate.

 

“Breakfast.” He informed motioning to Jim with the now full plate. “Coffee’s already on the table.” Jim grunted and walked over to the table and sat down. He tasted the coffee and looked up into Harvey’s freshly shaved face as the younger male set the plate of eggs, bacon and toast before him.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“You should be.” Harvey admitted, in no way joking. “You’re just lucky I’m such a forgiving guy. You really broke my heart there for a minute Jim.” He turned to retrieve his own plate and then sat down across the small table from his guest. “The answer to your question was, ‘yes’, by the way.” Harvey stated about to take a bite of his toast. “I still do want to be friends.”

 

Jim nodded and rubbed his left eye with the heel of his hand. “I should be a hell of a lot more hung over but,”

 

“You’re not because I poured a pitcher of water down your throat last night.” Harvey revealed with a shrug. “Wouldn’t do for the Captain to show up to work hung over.”

 

“Thank you.” Jim stated sincerely. Once more Harvey shrugged.

 

“S’what friends do.” He studied Jim’s expression. “What changed you mind about us?”

 

Jim blushed a little and looked down at his plate of food. “I missed you.” He managed to raise his gaze to Harvey’s. “It was miserable without you.”

 

Harvey clearly accepted what he was being told. He reached for his coffee mug. “Why did you do it in the first place? Tell me like that?”

 

“Because if I told you in private I would lose my nerve. Manipulate myself out of doing the right thing.”

 

“Right thing? For who?”

 

“You; believe it or not.”

 

Harvey set the mug down. “I **don’t**. So why did you do it Jim? Was something said to you from upper brass?”

 

Jim shook his head. “Nothing like that. I’m just,” He paused and rubbed a hand back through the longer hair upon the top of his head. “I’m toxic, Harvey. Every relationship I’ve ever had, I’ve ruined and the person on the opposite end of it always ends up destroyed and hating me.”

 

Harvey studied Jim’s expression for several silent seconds. By the look upon his own face it was clear to Jim that Harvey thought that assessment was utter bullshit. “I’m **not** , ‘ _everyone else’_ , Jim.” Harvey held Jim’s blue, gray, gaze firm in his own. “I’m like no one you’ve ever known. So, in the future? Kindly don’t think that you know best about how I will, or won’t react about something that huge.”

 

Jim looked away. “You don’t understand.” He uttered barely above a breath. Harvey reached out and touched his cheek and Jim pushed into the touch and closed his eyes for several second, savoring the moment before he looked at Harvey once more.

 

“You’re scared. But I already told you Jim, I’m not like the others.”

 

“That’s what scares me.”

 

“It shouldn’t.” Harvey gently admonished and stroked his thumb up Jim’s cheekbone. “Because it only means that you’ve got it right this time around.”

 

Jim took Harvey’s wrist in his hand and pulled his face away to place a kiss upon his palm. Harvey’s eyes softened even further, and Jim rose from the chair. Still holding Harvey’s hand, he moved around the edge of the table and moved to stand beside Harvey. He pressed the younger man’s hand to his chest and leaned down to devour his mouth in his own, Jim’s opposite hand wrapping in the short hairs at the nape of Harvey’s neck. The kiss was deep, slow, and Harvey moaned a little at the contact of Jim’s tongue against his own.

 

Harper received a call that morning to reschedule Jim’s entire day because he was out in the field. Sargent Miller also got a call from Jim stating, that he was utilizing one of his officers; Bullock; on a case and that he would return to Miller the following day. While Jim was leaving the messages, Harvey was devesting him of his clothing, and panting in his neck as he placed nipping kisses against the length of his throat. Jim had to smile at the way Harvey was rutting slightly against his leg, and he dropped the cell phone to the floor before wrapping both of his hands in Harvey’s red hair and pulling his head up to kiss him. Harvey was his, and Jim was about to show him just what he could do to claim him. Harvey merely counted his blessings and eagerly took all that Jim had to give and granted him the same in return.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Blessings Times Two - Ficlet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13345545) by [deawrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deawrites/pseuds/deawrites)




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